This morning Betsey J gets a tweet (‘cuz yall know I don’t do Twitter lol) from a friend asking who she thought would win in a vampire battle between The Cullens and the blood suckers from 30 Days of Night. This lead to all of us WTFly ladies if the Cullens really are the worlds best predators like Edward says, and this is what we came up with.
DooWaDitty on Alice Cullen vs. Santanico Pandemonium (Dusk ’till Dawn)
Alice Cullen Stats: Quasi fortune teller, extreme flexibility when pitching a baseball, has cute clothes to match her cute hair, and plays with porches.
Santanico Pandemonium Stats: Queen Vampire, banging ass body, has the ability to make men drink beer from her feet, and plays with snakes.
OK honestly this isn’t even a match. I only chose the battle ‘cuz the other ladies took all the dudes and … well, Salma’s hot duhh and so is Alice. Sure, Santanico turns into an ugly vampire savage “looking” creature once she’s feeding but we can’t let Alice’s sweet demeanor fool us. She’s a sav when she has to be like when she broke Jame’s neck at the end of Twilight. I think she’s more intelligent and will plan out her attack more strategically than Santanico who has NO technique asides from shake the boobies then strike. Besides, Alice will already know she was planning to do that anyway.
The Mayor on Emmet Cullen vs Eric Northman (True Blood)
Emmett Cullen stats: Emmett is described as being tall, burly, extremely muscular, and, to most humans, the most intimidating of his adoptive siblings. and even tho he has NO special powers like his other Cullen siblings, he is the strongest.
Eric Northman stats: Vampire Sherriff of Bon Temps. Sookie describes him as “handsome, in fact, radiant; blond and blue-eyed, tall and broad shouldered. He was wearing boots, jeans, and a vest. Period. Kind of like the guys on the cover of romance books.” he can fly and his saliva heals wounds
soooo.. i put my money on ERIC. cuz even tho he’s smaller and probably not as strong, the muthafucka FLIES and his SALIVA heals wounds! i mean, if he got hurt, he could just LICK HIMSELF and be fine and dandy! come onnnnnnn…. plus he could just get airborne and launch fireballs or whatever at Emmett since his brawny ass is stuck on the ground. lmao. although i DO think Emmett is way more handsome, but that has absolutely nothing to do with fighting. nothing at all. just thought i’d put that out there tho. hahaha.
YOSHI: On Renesmee Cullen vs The Count
THE COUNT WOULD EAT RENESMEE FOR DINNER.
“van! two! thareeee!”