boom boom room

so i’m talking to abi on aim (like we do everyday, i swear the most random shit comes up with us) and somehow the conversation goes from Twilight, to the jacob vs edward sex, and i get an idea in my head about Vampire Porn.

like..  ok we already know that vampire sex is supposedly AMAAAAYY-ZIIINNGG (shit regular sex is amazing if done correctly) but like, regular people watch regular porn to get turned on, get ideas, etc etc etc.  so im wondering, if rosalie and emmett watch some vampire porn before they boom boom?    and like, what would u expect?

could u imagine?   2 sparkly vampires doing boom boom in a meadow?  with the sun glistening off the nakedness that is the wang and the ching chang?    and i HATE seeing sweaty raunchy dudes on the regular, but since vampires dont sweat would they just be coldness??  and how FAST could they thrust?   

aaaaaand if  edward can impregnate bella, that means he can ejaculate, so does that mean a female vamp still gets slippery in her panties?    and then my mind wanders to if there are gay/lesbian vamps to support that fetish, and if feeding is involved in any of these sex movies.

supposing….of course.. that this was all real. 

but its not and i have to slap myself now cuz  i just realized that i’m a human living in the real world and blogging about VAMPIRE SEX…  AT WORK!….  [clearing cookies and deleting history now]


17 responses to “boom boom room

  1. WANG AND CHING CHANG?!?!?! HAHAHAHHA there’s vampire gay porn already remember? hahahhahaha

    • i’m not talkin bout TWINKLIGHT! hahahaha.. i meant for instance IF LIKE… JAMES was gay. he’s a vamp.. and like.. LAURENT was his boyfriend. u know? ok nm. i’m doing too much already. hahahaha.

  2. rach. i hope they make twilight vibrators for xmas ‘cuz i’m so getting u 5 … to go along with the vampire porn dvd set lol. but i ain’t gonna lie, i’m ask u to burn me a copy. hmm i don’t think they’d watch porn only ‘cuz i feel like they don’t NEED to, the wolves yes, the vamps no. but if they do have it i just hope it looks NOTHING like this

  3. LMAO! i had been thinking about the fast thrusting while chatting on the pillow biting and clawing backs…definitely one of the main reasons i chose edward hehe

  4. misslawncullen

    ummmm hellow!!! can we do group chats?!

  5. So, when I turn 18 I rented a bunch of porn because I could (so that dates me a little bit :)) – and I was all into vampires back then, so we picked up a “Vampire” themed porn–I still crack up when I think of it-it was AWFUL!!! The guy had on this black cape and slicked back black hair w/ fake fangs. The best part was that he had on these cheesy black Lee Press On nails and while he’s going downtown on the ching chang of his “victim”, one of the nails starts to come off-so he holds it on w/ another finger-and keeps going!

    That visual will NEVER leave me. So, when I think vampire porn, I think fake nails being held on–b/c style is so important with porno.

  6. this shit made me laugh so hard i read 90% of it out loud to my boy!

  7. This is why WTForks is superior. Completely and utterly superior to all other twilight blogs haha.

  8. WOW!!!… That is soemthing to think about if all that is true!! lol.. I keep laughing when i was reading it.. Because i started thinking about it too.. If vamps wre real and all that what kinda sex would they have.. lol.. WOW!! is all i can say

  9. i think vampire sex is most likely AMAZINGGGG , like hello don`t we watch TRUE BLOOD? haha

  10. oh. my. god! LMAO!

  11. i agree with Kay!!! HELLO!!!!! True Blood! There’s our vampire porn RIGHT THERE!

  12. LOL seriously, i would like to know how “vampire” sex is. shiiiiiit…can i have amazing sex where i wake up with feathers every where from pillows? hahahahaha

  13. Don’t forget True Blood had a gay vampire too!

  14. L M F A O!!!! OMG i love WTforks?! this had me falling off my seat cracking up, but the whole sex scene ohhhh god can u imagine Robert ..errr.. Edward lol BUT ASS!??!??! CAN YOU?!!

  15. Speaking of which, how do u think they should/will deal with the honeymoon in BD?

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