so i’m talking to abi on aim (like we do everyday, i swear the most random shit comes up with us) and somehow the conversation goes from Twilight, to the jacob vs edward sex, and i get an idea in my head about Vampire Porn.
like.. ok we already know that vampire sex is supposedly AMAAAAYY-ZIIINNGG (shit regular sex is amazing if done correctly) but like, regular people watch regular porn to get turned on, get ideas, etc etc etc. so im wondering, if rosalie and emmett watch some vampire porn before they boom boom? and like, what would u expect?
could u imagine? 2 sparkly vampires doing boom boom in a meadow? with the sun glistening off the nakedness that is the wang and the ching chang? and i HATE seeing sweaty raunchy dudes on the regular, but since vampires dont sweat would they just be coldness?? and how FAST could they thrust?
aaaaaand if edward can impregnate bella, that means he can ejaculate, so does that mean a female vamp still gets slippery in her panties? and then my mind wanders to if there are gay/lesbian vamps to support that fetish, and if feeding is involved in any of these sex movies.
supposing….of course.. that this was all real.
but its not and i have to slap myself now cuz i just realized that i’m a human living in the real world and blogging about VAMPIRE SEX… AT WORK!…. [clearing cookies and deleting history now]