breaking dawn… another BREAKdown

a few months ago we posted THIS post talking about HOW THE HELL breaking dawn would fly as a movie… because we ALL know how not-so-innocent this book was compared to the rest! hehehehehhehe – 2 words: marble wang?!

anyway – the reelz channel provided another break down of breaking dawn, check out their 10 reasons that would make… or break this book to movie flick! pretty hilar… pretty on point… what you think??

1. Bella and Edward’s Wedding

The wedding and first 100 pages of Breaking Dawn is, without a doubt, the most entertaining part of the book. It’s like old style Twilight, with every character acting as they should (except for Edward and the garter … weird much?), and the ever-present Bella-Edward-Jacob love triangle. Unfortunately, the most anticipated event since the Millennium is over all too quickly and things start to get worse as soon as our vampire and his bride reach their honeymoon destination, the Isle Esme. When Breaking Dawn is finally made into a movie, more emphasis should be put into the wedding: It’s the last time a lot of fans felt like they were reading The Twilight Saga and not some dodgy fan-fic found on the Internet.

2. The “Sex” Scenes

The Sex Scenes
Yep, you read that right. Bella and Edward finally get it on, in what can only be described as the most absent sex scene written since the 1900s. The act itself is merely implied, with the only proof it happened some broken headboards and bitten pillows. Oh, and a very bruised Bella. How they’ll portray this in the movie is anyone’s guess, and no doubt complaints of abuse and domestic violence are a big fear of everyone involved with the movie. If it stays rated PG-13 like its predecessors, ardent fans of Bella and Edward can kiss goodbye to their much adored night of passion. Sorry kids, it’s still implication only.

3. Jacob’s Third of the Book

Jacob's Third of the Book
Werewolf Jacob takes center stage for a third of the book in what is arguably the best section of the entire 800-page tome. He’s funny, realistic, and probably the only one in the book to actually stay in character. If you were a member of Team Edward before, I guarantee you’ll rethink your loyalty after reading Part 2. The young Jacob Black is seriously that endearing, redeeming what is an otherwise tiresome read. Look for Taylor Lautner to take center stage on the movie posters — he’ll be carrying this one solo.

4. Renesmee’s Birth

Renesmee's Birth
Normal births are painful, right? They hurt, they’re messy, and yet some women have them time and time again. Stephenie Meyer takes birthing to the next level in Breaking Dawn by having a giant baby literally crack its way out of mommy dearest. Bella’s spine breaks, leaving her writhing around like a beetle stuck on its back. Edward swoops in to the rescue and rips the baby out of Bella’s uterus with his bare-yet-sharp vampire teeth, then proceeds to turn his beloved into a vampire in order to save her fragile human life. PG-13? Uhh … no, not so much.



3 responses to “breaking dawn… another BREAKdown

  1. lol, i love this. but what exactly is that THING supposed to be?! i hope not renesmee! (:


  2. I agree with almost everything here. I always thought Renesmee Carlie was a barf-inducing name. Also, the whole book seemed to build up to this epic event that never ended up happening. Of course, the book was worth reading just to see how the bella, jacob, edward story played out. Let’s hope the movie rights where the book went wrong!

  3. Ok, I’m just going to say it…kinda suprised Vivid Entertainment hasn’t come out with their own version of Twilight. Eeesh, feel like a perv now, lol. Would you watch it?? You know you would!!! LOL!

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