ooooh LAINEY…

how WTF hearts you. seriously, she’s probably our long lost WTFkr =)

check it:

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Dear Gossips,

How much you think it would cost to hire Robert Pattinson’s makeup artist to airbrush a set of abs for me? And contour my ass too. Also the upper arms. Would have come in handy for Cannes.

So have you all recovered yet? My friend Laura, I think, is still unconscious. She only woke up yesterday to scream at me when I suggested that Pattinson looks like he has “mothering” hips. He totally does.

But if it’s not the Twi-hard hate it’s the Brangelunatic hate. The Chosen One’s birthday yesterday and I paid homage too late. Scroll down to see. Anyway, in retaliation, they bombed my inbox for “disrespectfully mocking” the First Family. From Janice:

“More families should be like this one, more people should aspire to be like them, their grace and beauty touched us all. But I don’t expect someone like you to be able to appreciate what the Jolie-Pitts have brought to this world. God Bless this family! God Bless Shiloh! And God Bless you too, Lainey. May you one day feel the kindness”.

Oh I feel it alright.

LMAO… So folks, what DO you think about RPATZ having motherly lips HIPS **EDITOR’S NOTE: hahahha thanks to melenie, i misread hips for lips – WTF???? so the following is moot: – i think what she means is that he has those thinly pursed lips (mine are full so i can cushion the smack when rpatz and my lips lock one day)? i mean – its kinda true though… HAHAHHA what you think??? – new topic… so them HIPS – what do you call that “V” action below the abs anyway??? “SEXINESS???”

look at my abs and my lips muwahahaha!

look at my abs and my lips muwahahaha!

in other news – the comments she made about brangelina’s little shilo is FKN HILARRRRR! read…

Why didn’t you take the day off?

It’s a world holiday. It SHOULD be a world holiday. Like, your boss would have totally understood. And if that bitch who sits next to you wasn’t at work today, she’s a Brangelunatic. Trust. Why? Because oh holy mother of all holy children… THE CHOSEN ONE TURNED THREE TODAY!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Remember when she was born? Baby Jesus had to go into hiding.

i got so much steeze... i know.

i got so much steeze... i know.

-WTF XOXO’S LAINEY

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5 responses to “ooooh LAINEY…

  1. I think she meant hips, not lips.

  2. shiloh. oh shiloh. u just need to be a brunette. o, and born a year or 2 later. then u cud’ve played renesmee.

  3. His mothering hips could spread for me anytime, that V has nothing to do with child birth and everything to do conception. If you have ever been with a guy that has that particular attribute you are in aw of the RPATZ V. Ok yes he has airbrushed abs, and pecks but I don’t care even with just the RPATZ V it’s official it’s love…or maybe just a case of mild stalking. Either way it’s on, where do I get in line? I want onboard this baby making machine.

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