Fork Fuckers.

Ever so dearest WTFly ladies,

The day we have all been dreading has finally come.

No, Edward Cullen’s not gay. No Robert Pattinson’s not with Paris Hilton. No, they haven’t cancelled the filming of New Moon. And no our plans to infiltrate the Vancouver set have not been compromised.

It’s so much worse than that.

One of our boyfriends stopped watching ESPN and put down his Heineken long enough  to start an anti-Twilight obsession blog.

We all knew it was coming, but didn’t think it would come so soon. And we all knew they existed but didn’t think it would hit so close to home. But alas, there’s only so much one man can take of his significant other screaming Edward’s name in the middle of the night and wanting to reinact the meadow scene during foreplay.

Thus, Fuck the Forks was inevitable. 

Al Bundy had No MA’AM, and now the men of today have this. But I guess it’s what we get for all those nights we were “too tired” to have sex, but not “too tired” to finish the last 5 chapters of Breaking Dawn. It’s only fair our men have a sanctuary to go to when we kick them out of their own house to throw Twilight themed parties, and then momentarily invite them back in but JUST to set up the entertainment system. I suppose they deserve an outlet to vent since we weren’t there for them to talk to after a long, hard day at work because we were in line watching the 12:01am showing of Twilight.

Besides, better here than in the lap of some hooker named Candy who has a rose tattoo’d on her breasts and smells like Victoria Secret’s Country Apple.

So in solidarity, and good fun,  I speak on behalf of my fellow WTFly ladies when I say in the words of the great philosopher 2Pacalypse  – “I ain’t mad at ‘cha.”

We know it takes a REAL, NON-fictional man to deal with our crazy antics and we appreciate that you haven’t called the cops or a psychiatrist on us yet. Lastly, we really do love you guys … we’d just love yall an itsy-bit more if you could throw us on your back and run to the park in 37.4 seconds flat.

P.S. If this site starts getting more hits than ours YOU’RE SHUTTING THAT SHIT DOWN DAMMIT!

P.P.S. My dude can’t even post a bulletin on MySpace so it’s hard to be mad at him for this when I’m too busy being amazed that he was CAPABLE of blogging.


4 responses to “Fork Fuckers.

  1. ahem. i’m kind of.. TEARING. … i can’t believe they really did this shit?! like FORREAL?! hahahahah

    go white boy! its ur birthday!

  2. misslawncullen

    this is too fuckin’ funny…

  3. dude – if only my bf KNEW how to blog – he’d be alllll over this!!!!

  4. dude im a little late but ome!! My hubby would want to join this anti- twilight group. I did everything you mentioned in this blog and then some… And he hates it so much.,. my lord…

    I love the Al Bundy thing its so true.. 🙂
    I enjoy your blog girls!!!

    keep up the good work!! 🙂

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