I HATE TWILIGHT.

OK. It seriously pained be to even write that statement albeit a complete lie. But I have noticed that there are a lot of people out there who genuinely DO hate the phenomenon.

And I’m not talking about the typical “I just don’t get it,” headshake from people who’ve never read the book or “I hate my wives Twilight obsession,” facebook page.

I’m talking straight hatred, as if Stephenie Meyer killed their cat kinda shit! Just yesterday I googled “How far is Forks from Seattle, WA?” and found this answer in a Yahoo thread:

“A LONG, LONG way and sorry to break it to you but it’s just a tiny town with nothing going on in it. There’s no hot vampire guys. If the book/movie was set in the middle of the Mojave Desert would you still want to visit it? And FYI – the writer had NEVER EVEN BEEN to Forks when she wrote the first book. Why would she want to???”
While I refuse to believe all that is true, it’s just funny to me that this person who I’m assuming hates Twilight still took the time out to tell us  that Vampires don’t exist (They don’t??? LOL).

Newsflash, neither does Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. (The tooth fairy however is up for discussion because I SWEAR she left me a dollar when I was 7 when NOBODY else was home.) But every year we still tell our little cousins and nieces and nephews to be good so that Santa will leave them something nice under the tree.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of things I don’t get either; i.e. Trekkies, Magic Cards, LARPING,  the purpose of pubic hair existing in your ass crack etc. but hey whatever – it’s all good, to each their own. 
Unless Twilight (Or anything else for that matter) has taken the place of you eating, sleeping, and showering, or causing you to lose your job, relax! A little non-fiction character obsessing ain’t never hurt nobody! ‘Cuz really there’s a lot worse out there we could be doing.
If your girl asks if it’s ok to slap on some glitter on you during sex just think of it as her being “adventurous.” Now if your girl is actually planning a trip to Forks has a lock of R. Patz’ hair, his half eaten sandwhich, and a vial of his blood around her neck then I hate to say it but Twilight is the least of your worries.
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18 responses to “I HATE TWILIGHT.

  1. misslawncullen

    hahaha… they’re just HATERS!!! 143Twilight637… what?!

  2. Kristina Cullen

    7177171647!!!!!

  3. Couldn’t agree more! If it’s not turning your friend/girlfriend/wife into a psychopathic stalker who REALLY believes that maybe R-Patts or Nikki Reed can grant her immortality? Then get over it! I’ll admit I’m obsessed, but I’m a functional Twi-addict. Almost always. [and what IS up with ass-crack pubes, anyway?!]
    I [heart] WTForks – you crack me up!

  4. Haha!! 4realz , I hate when ppl jugde twilight just from what they hear about it!! Read the book or check out the movie @least!! The 3-disc DVD is HOT!!!!

  5. ever since the dvd came out, people just keep hatin on me..OH WELL!!! HATERS!!

  6. agreed! thanks doowa!!!!

  7. I LOVE your blog it’s hilarious I read it everyday and this post is great because I have asked my bf to put glitter on as a joke… He didn’t find it funny 🙂

  8. Okay, maybe Santa Claus doesn’t exist but Buttcrack Santa does, right? 😉

  9. Pingback: …on being bed-ridden « the adventures of yoshi

  10. I heart your blog! Sooooo funny!

  11. You’re welcome Yoshi!! Good job on the site, ladies. It’s really funny! About that road trip, are you all hitting up Forks? You should, haha!
    -Katrina

  12. Ahahaha! Family Guy
    I haven’t seen this ep!
    Aus needs to hurry up and show the new season already. :/

    I love this site sfm. You chickadees are top shit 🙂

  13. Its Crap!!!

  14. Twilight is an awful book. It is no where near fine literature by any definition.
    Of course, there is nothing wrong with liking books like this. The world is full of them. But when they become this huge and begin to overshadow actual decent novels, one can only surmise that America has gone to a very dark, uneducated place.

  15. your last name is not cullen you fat obsessed loser

    its sad that people actually read this garbage. i know i will get the usual you haven’t even read the book bull. and i haven’t… i tried…i did… i got like 50 pages in and realized it was quite possibly the worst thing i ever read. normally i would not support “hatin” on the book but twilight fans are the most obnoxious, most annoying usually fat loser chicks, and i cant stand it. the only reason you like this is because it puts you in a world (however underdeveloped it is) that makes you feel like your accepted. please if you must enjoy this crap, keep it to yourselves, i don’t wanna hear about it.

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