i feel like i should close my eyes.

**DISCLAIMER: Spoiler alert!!! Continue at own will!**

i’m a 26 year old grown ass woman.  so while reading twilight i was HALFWAY expecting edward and bella to have sex in the book.  or at least get past first base after the first 400 pages…and when theyfinally did have sex, i was expecting it to be exploited detail by detail as Meyer had done with Bella’s ordinary brown eyes and Edward’s hot bod and godlike stature.    


i got no love!?  WTForks?!  and i was left feeling hella sexually frustrated.   like COME ON they’re married now, its not a sin just tell me about it! i mean, i (kinda) wasnt expecting it to be all porn-like, but i was expecting more detail than what i got.  but whatever, cuz i still loved my Edward and i have a great imagination so i filled myself in on the details.

yesterday JCullenBlack showed me a link that absolutely BLEW MY MINDDDD…i go and check it out hoping it would cure my absolute boredom and i literally screamed at my desk!   SOMEONE GAVE ME MY FUCKING SCENE!!!!  yesss!!!   i felt like i needed a cigarette after i read it.   

with no further adieu…  for your skanky viewing pleasure…  here’s an excerpt.

I gasped as Edward unzipped his gorgeous, godlike pants, revealing his smooth, white, marble cock. He glared at me with his burning topaz eyes as my fingertips brushed his cold, sparkling, granite dick. My heartbeat quickened. My breath caught. I didn’t deserve this. How could I, clumsy, ordinary, plain, clumsy Bella Swan who was only asked to the dance by 3 different lovestruck boys, be so close to a cock so gorgeous, scintillating and godlike? It was like the pale marble cock of Adonis.



uh huh…………..

do u need to change ur panties yet?  cuz i do.   read the rest of it HERE while i go and take a cold shower. maybe ill try to ejaculate rainbowssssss…

6 responses to “i feel like i should close my eyes.

  1. misslawncullen

    Can someone please write an x-rated twilight version?!! I need more… ha!

  2. wow.. this is what i freakin’ wanted to read! lol

  3. That is awesome… I would like more detail on when Edward’s animalistic side comes out and starts tearing pillows and scratching bed posts…sigh… what i would give to be Bella…


  5. I KNO. when i knew it was about to happen i got all excited and it would of been amazing to put detial in it but nooooo..!! wtforks

  6. its fake im sorry i want to beleive it too
    but they are not aloud to say ‘cock’ or ‘dick’

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