My tribute to the hottest blood suckers of all time. Let’s see if your faves made the list!
Long before Stephanie Meyer had the dream that launched a thousand crushes and killed a thousand love lifes, I was already intrigued by vampires. They were always so debonair and for some odd reason I found the paleness a part of their unique sex appeal. Speaking of which, don’t even get me started on the sexual innuendos that occur during almost every “turning” scene (i.e. Peep the first Blade film where Wesley Snipes practically busts one after sucking the blood out of N’Bushe Wright aka Dr. Karen Johnson).
It’s no wonder helpless victims continuously fall for their charm in dark alleys worldwide. With their irresistable good looks, vampires are like the bad boys in high school – you know they’ll break your heart, yet you still insist on going with them to prom. Shiiit, guilty as charged! Edward Cullen could have his fangs out, and blood all over his shirt and my dumb ass wouldn’t think twice about following him into a foggy mist.
So in honor of sexy blood suckers and just plain suckers like me – this one’s for you!
5) Aaliyah as Akasha in Queen of the Damned
Definitely not a role worthy of an Oscar nomination, but Aaliyah’s sensual presence in the film commanded attention in every scene. With her provocative clothing and melodic body movements Akasha slithered her way to #5 on my list. She even got homeboy in the background asking his girl for a menage a trois.
4) Stephen Dorff as Deacon Frost in Blade
Deacon Frost. That just sounds hot and his last name is “Frost” for crying out loud! He was the vampire responsible for killing Blade’s mother and was obsessed in becoming La Magra (The Vampire blood God). He was a greedy, power (and blood) thirsty asshole that just so happened to have the iciest pale blue eyes and good highlights. Which is probably why he made #4 on my list.
3) Brad Pitt as Louis de Pointe du Lac in Interview With the Vampire
Brad Pitt with fangs. Need I say more?
2) Salma Hayek as Santanico Pandemonium in From Dusk Till Dawn
OK seriously? Have you watched this movie? Salma would be #1 on my list if Edward Cullen didn’t exist and I had a penis. In From Dusk Till Dawn she plays the snake charming (Phallic symbol alert!) vampire Queen slash Titty Twister stripper that has Quentin Tarantino drinking beer from her foot. She’s also responsible for causing a feeding frenzy after she can’t resist the sight of dripping blood and devours Tarantino’s character in the film.
1) Robert Pattinson as Edward “I love you so much please be the father of my children or at least have me as a one night stand” Cullen
As if you didn’t already know, #1 goes to none other than our beloved Edward Cullen. I could go on and on (and on some more) justifying his placement on this list but I have grocery shopping to do and a job I need to be at tomorow morning. But who else would cause a 14 year old to get her nose broken during a stampede at a mall appearance? Who else wouldn’t I mind being a heroin addict for? Who else would inspire 4 grown ass professional women to summon their inner teeny-bopper (Not to mention cougar) and create a blog dedicated to his sparkly-ness?
But perhaps the MAIN reason my crush on Edward Cullen has elavated to border line obsession is because of the fact that to many, he epitomizes what a man should be. Moreover, he loves Bella the way every woman should be loved. AND GOOD GOD WHAT I WOULD’NT GIVE TO BE THE GRASS HE LAYS ON IN THIS PICTURE.
And there you have it! I’ve officially taken my infatuation for vampires to all new disturbing heights! Please feel free to make me feel a little less crazy by sharing your list!