bringin sexy back.

so Jess got me thinkin all sexified this morning thanks to her edits and comments to the last post…. and i’m thinking about how it would be to REALLY be with edward.  not RPat, but EDWARD.

SO, WTFWUD if you got EDWARD in YOUR bed…

i have a few questions though that i need help answering.  (some of these contain SPOILERS so if you have not read the entire series, please come back at a later time..!!!!)

1.  if he BREAKS THE BED, how does he not smother her?  like when he’s on top?   like, how does she breathe?

2. u know how he’s like stone?   does that mean he always has a boner?   like constantly?    because u would need BLOOD to actually get a boner right?  


3.  does he.. u know..  FINISH?   because again, i dont really understand his bodily fluids thing.    well, obviously he does finish because Bella gets pregnant right.. but i’m sayin..  like..  HOW? 

4.  u know how he’s always cold?   i bet thats the best sensation!  “You’re hot then you’re cold, you’re yes then you’re no, you’re in then you’re out.. you’re up then you’re down!”  (betcha didnt think Katy Perry would make sense right now huh?) hahaha

random, i know.  but it boggles my mind!  u know understand how many of these conversations jess and i have had.   help me understand, Edward!  please!  haha


14 responses to “bringin sexy back.

  1. hahahaha!!!! i always wondered about #2 too… hmmmmm

  2. can you IMAGINE HOW MANY TIMES i’ve read that part OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER again???? GAWD!!! i can’t think about this now during work… SO BAD… he can leave me bruises ALLLLL over ANYDAY baby!

    • would also like to note… i wonder if its like he’s on viagra or something? is that how it would be like? oh man… must stop thinking about this. GAH!

  3. i actually considered the whole constant boner thing the moment they first described his body as hard marble all over. lol i was like really?… hmmmm… good times. lol

    id rather have Edward in bed than R. Patt cuz R. Patt, sorry ladies… seems like a bit of a punk.

  4. I am so happy that I am not the only one who has thought out these things. lol

  5. I. can’t. think. at. work. HAHAHA

  6. well it’s been a while with him keeping our relationship under wraps esp. since he got renesmee now but from what i remember …

    1) he can’t fall on top of u if he’s hittin it from the back

    2) YES

    3) YES

    4) YES

    5) I’M FIRED lol.

  7. hahahaha. im lovin ur guy’s reponses.

  8. This is so funny. I really LOL.

  9. Queenie Cullen

    okay this is gross and i didn’t even come up with it but what happens when bella gets her period?

  10. Pingback: stupid question of the day « What The Forks?!

  11. ok…so i know i’m commenting on this a couple months late, but this is the first time i’ve read previous posts on your site. your site rules by the way. so i wanted to relay some info on this subject to you in case you never got it. as soon as the faq’s for BD went up on stef’s site, i was on that shit! my friend and i wouldn’t shut the fuck up about how in the HELL could bella get knocked up? so here it is: “Vampires are physically similar enough to their human origins to pass as humans under some circumstances (like cloudy days). There are many basic differences. They appear to have skin like ours, albeit very fair skin. The skin serves the same general purpose of protecting the body. However, the cells that make up their skin are not pliant like our cells, they are hard and reflective like crystal. A fluid similar to the venom in their mouths works as a lubricant between the cells, which makes movement possible (note: this fluid is very flammable). A fluid similar to the same venom lubricates their eyes so that their eyes can move easily in their sockets. (However, they don’t produce tears because tears exist to protect the eye from damage, and nothing is going to be able to scratch a vampire’s eye.) The lubricant-venom in the eyes and skin is not able to infect a human the way saliva-venom can. Similarly, throughout the vampire’s body are many versions of venom-based fluids that retain a marked resemblance to the fluid that was replaced, and function in much the same way and toward the same purpose. Though there is no venom replacement that works precisely like blood, many of the functions of blood are carried on in some form. Also, the nervous system runs in a slightly different but heightened way. Some involuntary reactions, like breathing, continue (in that specific example because vampires use the scents in the air much more than we do, rather than out of a need for oxygen). Other involuntary reactions, like blinking, don’t exist because there is no purpose for them. The normal reactions of arousal are still present in vampires, made possible by venom-related fluids that cause tissues to react similarly as they do to an influx of blood. Like with vampire skin—which looks similar to human skin and has the same basic function—fluids closely related to seminal fluids still exist in male vampires, which carry genetic information and are capable of bonding with a human ovum. This was not a known fact in the vampire world (outside of Joham’s personal experimenting) before Nessie, because it’s nearly impossible for a vampire to be that near a human and not kill her.”

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