Lana Veenker for a Day.

From the moment I picked up Twilight I began envisioning what the characters would look like. It was imperative for me to know who was playing Edward so that I knew who’s face I would be photoshopping onto pictures my ex-boyfriends.  Alas, when the cast of the movie was released, I was not disappointed.

There was Robert Pattinson in all of his post Harry Potter glory looking every bit as beautiful and glittery as I had imagined. However, upon leaving the movie theater opening morning (12am showing with a fever and what??!!) I thought that they could’ve done better with the rest of the cast – especially Rosalie.

So ever since then, the gears in my head have been churning, trying to figure out who I would’ve casted had I been given the task of bringing Stephanie Meyers’ first book to life. Now, I understand that an all-star lineup wasn’t part of the film’s budget and actually prefer the use of lesser known actors BUUUT le’ts just pretend that we’re living in my own little world of Forks right now. A world where I am casting director, deep fried oreos are healthy for you, and Edward waits faithfully in front of the building I work in everyday by his Volvo at 5pm sharp.

Rosalie Hale
Drop dead gorgeous (No pun intended), narcissistic, and intimidating. Currently played by Nikki Reed, my pick would be either Scarlett Johanssen because she is absolutely beautiful and has a classic look to her face or Elisha Cuthbert whose stare alone makes you want to slap her.

Esme Cullen
Currently played by Elizabeth Reaser, I always imagined Esme to be “motherly,” and not just because she was mama Cullen but because of her instinctly nuturing and warm-hearted description. And while the book never mentioned her as being exceptionally beautiful, I believe it’s in a Cullen’s blood (Again, no pun intended) to be at least a little bit stunning. Thus, my pick is Katherine Heigl. She’s attractive, older looking than the rest of the cast, and has a smile that looks like she always wants to hug you and then make hot chocolate afterwards.

Dr. Carlisle Cullen
Can I just say that Carlisle is THE MAN? With that aside, I actually really like Peter Facinelli as Dr. Cullen MINUS the albino hair. But let’s face it, he looks about 25 and without the chalk dust on his face he looks 12. Although age ain’t a thang to vampires, I STILL would never believe he had some grown ass teenagers as kids. So because of this I picked the just as hot but slightly more sophisticated Christian Bale. Besides, they almost look like brothers at times.

Jacob Black
Oh Jacob. I don’t know whether to love or hate you. Kinda like how I felt when I found out Taylor Lautner was playing him. Adorable yes, but I didn’t like his nose and even on stilts he could NEVER convince me he had a warewolf growth spurt – excuse me I mean shapeshifter growth spurt. Yet, when I found out they were going to replace him with the fineness that is known as Michael Copon I got a LITTLE sad they didn’t keep the original cast members. And then I looked up more pictures of Copon and was like Taylor who? Anyway, I know I’m cheating by putting Copon as my pick but just so women everywhere can look at pictures of his 8-pack on this post…


Sam Uley
*Cue Leader of the Pack by the Shangri-Las* Honestly, I thought Sam and co. were assholes until I got an insight on their side of the story and realized that he was just doing what was best for them. Matter fact, if I wasn’t marrying into a vampire family soon, I’d think Sam’s leadership qualities were kinda hot. Speaking of hot, Steven Straight aka Caleb from The Covenant is my pick for Sam instead of Solomon Trimble. He could pull off that Native American look with the proper styling and if he was younger could be runner up for Jacob Black.

Renesmee Cullen
Maybe it’s the way the kid walks around looking like a little lady stuck in a child’s body that made me pick Suri Cruise as Renesmee, but I SWEAR the kid ain’t all human. She almost looks TOO cute sometimes, like behind it all she wants to stab you. Regardless, I think Suri is the most ADORABLE kid to ever come from a robot mother and alien father. Besides, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt has blonde hair (LOL Rach!)

Hell hath no wrath like a woman scorned. That line is the first thing that comes to mind when I think of Victoria. And Rachelle Lafevre did NOT portray that to me. She was “coo” but her hair wasn’t “fiery” enough and she definitely wouldn’t give me the heebeejeebies in a dark alley. Rose McGowan on the other hand would. 1) She makes a great red head 2) She has experience with the supernatural on Charmed 3) She dated Marilyn Manson.

And last but certainly not least…

Edward Cullen
MEMBERS OF TEAM EDWARD PLEASE DO NOT STONE ME!!! I am a strong believer of the phrase, “If it ain’t broken don’t fix it,” so trust I would never want to mess with perfection. But BEFORE I saw Robert Pattinson as Edward, my first pick was Ryan Philippe. Ultimately, Pattinson shits on Philippe, but again let’s just pretend he never got out of his awkward Cedric Diggory stage…

And that’s it! I could probably go on and on and on if given more time but I won’t, so instead how about you tell us your ultimate cast!


6 responses to “Lana Veenker for a Day.

  1. how about I LOVE RYAN PHILLIPE. omg that picture is smokin. cruel intentions? i think so.

  2. what about BELLA??? who would you choose to play bella??

  3. i would’ve been the perfect bella!!!! hellowww… thought chu’ knew?!

  4. hahaha misslawn as bella…that so funny, shoulda gone to the casting!

  5. omg i really tried to think of a better bella but her character is so complex (has to be plain jane but still have “oomph,” can’t be too pretty but can’t be anywhere near ugly, etc.) that I figured it would take way more research on my part and i already spent half of my “work” day blogging that one entry. besides, if it can’t be ME, then she better be DAMN GOOD! lol.

  6. rose mcdowan, she isn’t in this movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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