I HATE TWILIGHT.

OK. It seriously pained be to even write that statement albeit a complete lie. But I have noticed that there are a lot of people out there who genuinely DO hate the phenomenon.

And I’m not talking about the typical ”I just don’t get it,” headshake from people who’ve never read the book or “I hate my wives Twilight obsession,” facebook page.

I’m talking straight hatred, as if Stephenie Meyer killed their cat kinda shit! Just yesterday I googled “How far is Forks from Seattle, WA?” and found this answer in a Yahoo thread:

“A LONG, LONG way and sorry to break it to you but it’s just a tiny town with nothing going on in it. There’s no hot vampire guys. If the book/movie was set in the middle of the Mojave Desert would you still want to visit it? And FYI – the writer had NEVER EVEN BEEN to Forks when she wrote the first book. Why would she want to???”

While I refuse to believe all that is true, it’s just funny to me that this person who I’m assuming hates Twilight still took the time out to tell us  that Vampires don’t exist (They don’t??? LOL).

Newsflash, neither does Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. (The tooth fairy however is up for discussion because I SWEAR she left me a dollar when I was 7 when NOBODY else was home.) But every year we still tell our little cousins and nieces and nephews to be good so that Santa will leave them something nice under the tree.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of things I don’t get either; i.e. Trekkies, Magic Cards, LARPING,  the purpose of pubic hair existing in your ass crack etc. but hey whatever – it’s all good, to each their own. 

Unless Twilight (Or anything else for that matter) has taken the place of you eating, sleeping, and showering, or causing you to lose your job, relax! A little non-fiction character obsessing ain’t never hurt nobody! ‘Cuz really there’s a lot worse out there we could be doing.

If your girl asks if it’s ok to slap on some glitter on you during sex just think of it as her being “adventurous.” Now if your girl is actually planning a trip to Forks has a lock of R. Patz’ hair, his half eaten sandwhich, and a vial of his blood around her neck then I hate to say it but Twilight is the least of your worries.

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